- Ainsley Thomas
The Importance of Health, Happiness, Safety, and Comfort
Updated: Jun 1, 2021
I want to give you a dose of inspiration about 4 Hacks to Master Family Life.
I’ve learned these over the years through listening to thousands of hours of audiobooks about success and self development and interviewing more than 100 different moms about their successes and failures relating to kids, relationships, work and everything else. In addition to learning about all this stuff, I implemented strategies I picked up from others to see how they did -- or didn’t -- work for someone like me, a mom who thought of myself as both a working mom and a stay at home mom because I worked part time and still expected I could do all the things a stay at home mom could do. Note to self: that actually does not work.
After learning some tricks from other moms and mentors, I figured out how to hack my way to getting through it all even when I’m way behind on my to-do list. I’m not disappointed in myself, because I know I plan my life around my priorities. And while my family is of course a big priority, it’s not my only priority.
We all want the same things for ourselves, our kids and our families. There are areas that are important to us as moms: Health, Happiness, Safety, Comfort
While such goals are universal and worthy, none of them is a destination. No one reaches these states, relaxes, and decides they are done. They see someone else at the next level, and decide they must attain more. The slim woman works out to get toned. The college graduate attends webinars to learn new skills. The well paid executive invests to build passive income. We often spend so much time striving to achieve the next goal, we forget to notice how much we already have. I want to give you specific examples for each of these, starting with four of them today.
A Healthy Mom = Healthy Family
Some days we feel lousy, pushing through headaches, nausea, or sore joints. Other days we glide around with ease. If most days you have no pain or discomfort, and you have energy throughout your day, then you are healthy. But that’s hard. Many of us are lacking in energy because we just don’t get enough sleep. Isn’t that what coffee is for? If more than half the time you are battling colds or a chronic condition or feel run down and tired, then you can take simple steps to improve your health.
You can feel better by adjusting three main things: what you eat, what you do, and your mindset. Okay, those are three BIG things. But did you know our habits control those three things more than anything else?
Buy vegetables and fruits and nuts and keep some with you at all times. Don’t buy snack foods like chips and candy. Move every day, even if it’s chasing around a toddler or parking at the edge of the lot. Forget work and chores and go to sleep in time to get 7 to 8 hours of rest. That one is tough. You gotta let go of the tendency to have your house and career in order. And when you feel aches and pains, jot them down to share with your doctor and then focus on something else. Distraction works as well for your health as it does for a baby.
When we take care of ourselves, we can better take care of our children. When our energy is drained, being present for our children becomes a huge challenge. By taking extra time to take charge of your own health, you're setting a good example for your children to know that it’s important to prioritize health and self-care.
Kids don't need a perfect mother. They need a happy one.
We feel stressed when we are doing so much for others that we don’t have time for ourselves. Studies show we experience more joy when we make time to do something we want to do, even if it’s one small thing each day. How can a busy mom find that time? By asking for help.
Remind your husband to do the dishes. Order groceries online. Drop off your kids with a friend for an hour. When you delegate one of your tasks to another person every day, and use that time to do something you enjoy, you’ve invited happiness into your life.
Everyone has their own level of tolerance, and you have to find yours. But you can’t demand perfection in all areas. If you are super uptight about messes but not about nightly baths for your kiddos, don’t feel bad when you hear about other moms who never miss a bath.
"Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety" - Aeschylus
The biggest threat to your child’s life is not someone abducting him or some disease crippling him. It’s something you do with him regularly -- drive. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. But you should put all the other fears in perspective. If a responsible adult is supervising your child at all times during his first five years of life, and your child is strapped into the proper car seat every time he is in a vehicle, then he is safe. Drowning and suffocation are the leading cause of death for kids under 5, while car crashes are the top killer of kids ages 5 to 19. So Buckle up yourself and your kids every time, and your family has achieved a critical level of safety.
Comfort of a Mom Tribe
Life can be challenging. We can go all day without laughing or feeling relaxed. Sound familiar? Other people we know and love feel that way too. We can spread joy to others by giving them time to do something they want to do. When you offer to take on a duty that gives someone else a little free time, you’re building a tribe that will reward you with an ongoing feeling of security and comfort.
We all want to be part of something bigger, whether it’s being mom in our immediate family, cousin in our extended family, or friend to moms we know from church.
But even if you have a group of moms you trust enough to cry with, it’s been hard to maintain those friendships during COVID. I want to help you reconnect with your tribe. Your friends probably feel just as overwhelmed as you do trying to handle everything going on these days.
Whether you need a break to go to work, to get away from stress, or to take time for yourself, MomSub can help you reach out to find someone who can help you manage your career and kids.
Every mom out there should have a regular reminder that she’s doing a great job, that she shouldn’t be comparing her worst day to someone else’s best day that she sees on social media, where we all share only our highlight reel.
We’re all about sharing -- our ups AND downs, our expertise AND our understanding -- in a non-judgmental way with love. Please join us if you live in the western suburbs of Chicago, where we are forming local groups to help each other with care and rides for our kids.
MomSub can help you take that extra time to take charge of yourself, setting a good example for your children to know that it’s important to prioritize your Health, Happiness, Safety, and Comfort.